(comic) Squirt and Bernie

There you have it folks, Squirt and Bernie in it's entirety.  Who knows what they'll get up to in their next exciting adventure.

(ramble) Strawberry Milk; Friend or Foe

A few years ago, in the early stages of my intolerance of lactose, I had written a short essay to procrastinate writing actual essays for school.  I recently found it on a hard drive and figured it was good enough to share.  Enjoy.

It has been years sense my last encounter with strawberry milk. I think I was seven at the time. Anyway it has been so long I couldn't remember if I liked it or not so I purchased the carton.

First I examined the exterior packaging. Pink mostly with some red and white. There is a soccer player with a green striped jersey. The exterior can tell you a lot about what is on the inside. Under the pouring spout are the nutritional facts such as 115mg sodium, 0g fiber, etc. The other side tells you it is pasteurized and lists the ingredients, nothing important. The carton also tells me I have 500ml of 1% partly skimmed strawberry milk.

I spread the cardboard flaps peeling the diamond shape a part. I lift it up to make contact with my lips and allow the first few drops of liquid to flow into my mouth. This first taste left my uncertain so I dove in for more. Pink deliciousity.

I begin drinking quick as I approached the subway when I remembered my problem with milk. If too much milk enters my system the results can be disastrous. By the time got on the subway I felt it brewing. I tried to push the feeling in my stomach out of my mind as I made my way closer to home. The milk bubbled as it mixed with my stomach acids. Will I make it? I leave the subway and light a smoke. It helps.

By the time I get home my stomach problem had dwindled to gas and all seemed well. Most milk would have sent me to the bathroom for hours. This leaves me wondering: is strawberry milk my friend or my foe.

(comic) Squirt and Bernie Preveiw

 The other day, while I was clearing out some space on my external hard drive, I came across a project I started working on a few years ago.   I had colored the 1st page and started on the second when something made me completely forget about this comic.  So I finished the second page and decided to give you people a taste.  Squirt and Bernie is a story about a squirrel who sells weed for the beaver mafia and the consequences of being arrested by the police bears.  It's going to be a fun ride.

(video) Bee vs Spider

The other day I stepped outside for my morning coffee and cigarette and was distracted by a slight buzz along my fence.  When I looked closer I saw that a bee had caught it's feet in a spiders web.  I set my smoke down and ran inside to get my cell phone.  By the time I got back the spider had come to claim his catch.  I hit record on the video function and enjoyed the rest of my cigarette.

The music is from The Venture Bros: The Music of J.G. Thirlwell 

also available on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWvfCbXvAlI&feature=results_video

(animation) How I Became Footicapped

This animation may seem a tad religious, but it's more autobiographical than anything.  When I was a kid the school thought I was showing signs of being dyslexic.  So they ran a bunch of test on me.  Nothing invasive, just looking at pictures and word problem type stuff.  When everything was all said and done, they told my mother "your son isn't dyslexic, he is left handed."  I looked up past the ceiling and thought to myself 'what a clever joke.'
Instead of animating that story I decided to go farther back, right to the source.  Here is How I Became Footicapped.
     

 

If anyone couldn't figure out what footicapped is just think

handicapped people have "problems" with their legs

therefore people "problems" with their arms are

footicapped   

(animation) Danger Due To Holes

Along my route to work there is a section of construction.  All over the fence barrier are signs warning the public of various dangers; some as simple as "danger due to construction".  Out of them all  my favorite was "danger due to holes".  What if instead of warning you about holes in the ground they were telling you about holes of a different variety.

(event, photography) Toronto's 1st Ninja Parade

 

Just over a month ago Toronto had it's first Ninja Parade.  Unlike the zombie march, where people dress up and participate, the ninja parade was more spectator oriented (although dressing up was not discouraged).  Martial arts masters Ayumu Ishikawa, Daichi Takahashi, Hayato Shimabukuro, and Isamu Yamamoto flew in from Japan to oversee the other ninjas involved in the parade.  They arrived a week in advance to see some sites and get to know the parade route.  

The day came, and over the coarse of an hour and forty-five minutes ninja descended from the rooftops at Dundas and Shaw.  Each ninja took an average of fifteen minutes to maneuver between traffic and pedestrians along the parade route, all while showing off their stealth tactics.

The hired photographer, Brian Muller, had fallen ill shortly after the parade ended, and was hospitalized and then quarantined for two weeks.  His widow has finally allowed me to see the pictures taken and after going through the nearly four hundred pictures, these are the most promising.

 

Photos by 

BRIAN MULLER

1983-2012