Thursday, September 9, 2010

(painting,photography) Coffee Cup Monsters 101

Those delightful little critters are what I like to call Coffee Cup Monsters. Some consider this piece to be of a still life nature, but they are wrong. This was painted en plein air when I was lucky enough to catch not one but two of these elusive creatures. It was much like a painter going out to the woods to paint the forest but then finding a deer hanging around long enough to paint. That's good times as long as that deer isn't being hunted.
After I had finished my painting, one of the critters followed me home. My roommate at the time wasn't into having a Coffee Cup Monster as a pet so I set it free and we parted ways. After a couple of days I noticed the Coffee Cup Monster outside the window so I let it in to play. It brought a Friend which i thought was alright, but they couldn't stay too long. The next day they were back and they had a couple of other cups with them. I was cool with them chilling but all they wanted to do was hang out on the ceiling, and I can't do that. Trust me I tried.
It soon became apparent that they were building some sort of nest for their female. She was the only one without the blue markings. I had had enough of their shenanigans and told them to leave. I flung open the window and shouted for them to get out. But they didn't listen. I went to get the broom to shoo them away as if they were a squirrel or neighborhood cat. When I returned their numbers had grown. I forgot to close the window, shit.
My plan hadn't changed. I used my broom to the best of my ability, swinging it around while shouting like a girl. Wouldn't you know you, those little fuckers wouldn't budge an inch. They protected their queen at all costs. At least they put up a good effort. I struck a blow right to the queens lid causing the cups to go into a frenzy. They shaked and shivered sounding as if a fresh pot was on the go. I was a tad freaked out to say the least. I set the broom aside and tried to make peace. They wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Their minds were made up, I was their enemy. The shaking intensified to the point where they were nothing but blurs in my vision. That's when I felt dizzy and passed out. When I woke up they were gone, along with my broom.
Weeks later as I climbed the stairs on my way to my locker I found a broom handle with all of the bristles removed from it's head. I thought nothing of it, having seen much stranger things in the hallways of the art school. I arrived at my locker and began dialing in the combo. The lock clicked, the door creaked, and then my jaw crashed on the floor. Everything that was suppose to be in my locker was not. Instead I found a herd of Coffee Cup Monsters, or maybe they were a battalion. Either way I thought I would be under attack at any moment. I pulled out my sharpest pencil and prepared for the upcoming battle.
It was as if my life had become an episode of Dragon Ball Z, or a months worth of episodes. Time seemed to stand still and yet at the same time drag on for eternity. I kept thinking to my self Come on cups just make a move. As if I know any sort of self defense when it comes to dealing with a gang of Coffee Cup Monsters.
Anyway nothing ended up happening in regards to that.










**COFFEE CUP MONSTERS ARE NOT REAL**
The coffee cup monsters were first created when I started going to OCAD. I would buy my coffee from Cafe Art Bagel for a buck then head to class. Halfway through the class the cup would be empty so to pass the time I would punch a hole in the side of the cup with my thumb, and then draw an eye on the lid. I then hid these cups around OCAD, mainly in the first year building. I would check in with them every so often usually finding them missing. The cleaning staff was top notch. The tradition of making monsters out of my Styrofoam coffee cups continued throughout my OCAD career.

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